We’ve all been there as parents. You’re chatting with another mum or dad at pickup time, and the conversation drifts, as it often does to the children.

“Chika is already reading books.”
“Tolu can ride a bike without training wheels.”
“My daughter got a certificate for handwriting last week.

And before you realize it, a quiet thought slips into your mind:
“Why isn’t my child doing that yet?”

It’s such a natural feeling, to wonder, to compare, to want reassurance that our children are “keeping up.” But here’s the truth: comparison often steals the joy of parenting and the confidence of our children.

Every Child Has Their Own Timeline

At Belle Meade School, we see children blossom in beautifully different ways. Some talk early but take their time learning to write neatly. Others struggle with reading at first, then suddenly take off. Just like flowers in a garden, each child blooms in their season, not before, not after — but right on time.

When we compare our children, we often forget that development isn’t a race. It’s a journey. And on this journey, every step, no matter how small, matters.

What Children Hear When We Compare

How many times did you as a parent growing up hear these words of comparison? You been compared to your sibling, cousin, neighbor’s child or a classmate. How did you feel?

When a child overhears, “Look at how well your friend did, why can’t you?” what they often feel is,

“I’m not good enough.”

Over time, this can plant seeds of self-doubt, anxiety, or even resentment, not only toward the parent but toward the child they are being compared to. Instead of inspiring, comparison can quietly crush motivation.

Children thrive on encouragement. They need to feel seen for who they are, not measured against someone else’s progress.

How Parents Can Shift the Focus

1. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Achievement
Instead of “You scored higher than Tunde,” try “I’m proud of how hard you studied for that test.”

2. Remember Their Strengths
Maybe your child isn’t the fastest reader, but perhaps they’re wonderfully kind, creative, or observant. Every strength deserves to shine.

3. Keep Perspective
The things that seem slow now often even out with time. Childhood is not a checklist, it’s a foundation.

4. Model Confidence
Children learn how to value themselves by watching how we value them. When we show patience and pride in their progress, they learn to do the same.

5. Celebrate Progress made
Remember that slow progress is still progress. Mastery doesn’t happen in a moment, it happens little by little, day by day.

At Belle Meade, We See Each Child as a Story in Progress

Our classrooms are filled with unique personalities, learning styles, and dreams. We don’t just teach academics — we nurture confidence, curiosity, and compassion.

So the next time you catch yourself comparing your child to another, pause and remind yourself: “My child’s journey is valid, valuable, and unfolding in its own time.”

Because the goal isn’t to raise the best child in the room, it’s to raise a child who believes and knows they are enough.

Belle Meade School
where every child shines!